Unsustainable

A quick refresher in case you haven't been following along - we suddenly became full-time carers with David - a 12 year old boy (fictional names used) in our care. About 4-5 months into the placement we had seen a lot of improvement in overall health (better eating, weight gain and growth for his age) and had committed to caring for David long-term. However life wasn't easy and we were dealing with some pretty severe transference and anger issues in day to day life which were continuing to escalate. When I started writing here I committed to share my experiences both good and bad for the benefit of carers and potential carers alike, and this post definitely falls into the bad category. But in amongst the difficult situations we must learn … [Read more...]

Transference

As foster carers you experience a range of challenging behaviours and one such behaviour we started to see on an increasing basis was transference. A simple example of transference is having a bad day at work only to come home and vent at your spouse because you have pent-up frustration. Taking this example a step further transference may involve speaking or acting to one person as if they are a completely different person. This is known as transference. With David, the 12 year old boy currently in our care we mostly experienced these as 'yellow zone' moments (for those unfamiliar with the 'arousal zones' in therapeutic parenting in summary there are 3 zones: 'green zone' - the child is calm and thinking logically, 'yellow zone' - the … [Read more...]