Unsustainable

A quick refresher in case you haven't been following along - we suddenly became full-time carers with David - a 12 year old boy (fictional names used) in our care. About 4-5 months into the placement we had seen a lot of improvement in overall health (better eating, weight gain and growth for his age) and had committed to caring for David long-term. However life wasn't easy and we were dealing with some pretty severe transference and anger issues in day to day life which were continuing to escalate. When I started writing here I committed to share my experiences both good and bad for the benefit of carers and potential carers alike, and this post definitely falls into the bad category. But in amongst the difficult situations we must learn … [Read more...]

Life in the red zone

Let's not sugarcoat it, being a foster carer can be tough and about 3 months into our first full-time placement (more details about how this all came about in Suddenly full-time carers) we were faced with some truly challenging situations to deal with. In the therapeutic parenting arousal graph when a child enters the red zone it is defined as an extremely heightened state of intense alertness and emotion, often reacting through instinct (flight/fright/freeze response) and neglecting rational thought. We had seen plenty of anger outbursts up until this point but the first extended severe red zone episode was a little terrifying. "the red zone it is defined as an extremely heightened state of intense alertness and emotion, often reacting … [Read more...]